


A L W A Y S

by skatty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little angst, Bisexual Kuroo, Bokuto has a wild family, Kuroo has a difficult family, M/M, SLOW BURN BOKUROO FIC, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, a bit dysfunctional, demisexual Bokuto, especially since there will be smut, it got the best of both worlds, slice of angst, the warnings might go up with time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:32:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skatty/pseuds/skatty
Summary: “Always is a long time,” he answered. “Always means forever.”





	A L W A Y S

**Author's Note:**

> featuring: romance to agony, bokuto as support, art-talk, finger guns, the constant question of: how to deal with breakups????
> 
> mood: Imogen Heap - The Walk
> 
> \--  
> this gonna be a bumpy write throughout the chapters, gomenasai!! (also unbeta'd so please be soft on me)

There was a time where Tetsurou wore his emotions on his sleeves. There was a time where he wasn’t all about layered versions of himself that fulfilled the solely purpose of making sure no one would look through him.

With fifteen - almost turning sixteen as he used to brag about - he was hit by the sickness that was called love for the first time. It wasn’t as flashy as he would have expected it to be but only because he knew love was just a concept used by Hollywood Blockbusters and Shoujou Mangas.

They started out sweet - as most relationships do. Kuroo couldn’t have been happier about it. They shared sweet kisses in corners where nobody would see them. Tucked in at night, so close to one another that their heartbeats seemingly fell in pace, they breathed the same air -  _briefly_ walked the same path. “I’ll always be here,” he whispered into Kuroo’s ear.

As long as they were an item, he felt as if time had stopped. He was afraid of the day where it would start again, but the incredible closure he experienced made it easy to ignore everything else and wishing for even more.

They never made it official though, they never even talked about it. It was just them and what-ever-they-were. Kuroo needed to keep it from others - his mother would have given him hell , but he also enjoyed the secrecy of it. Romance and love was mixed with thrill. Kuroo craved it all. It was by far the best his life had him yet to offer.

And for the first time in his life he experienced the support of someone who loved him. When he was close to him, he had no need to shut the world out. He listened to his boyfriends breathing instead. Safety had always only been a concept to him until it became a person.

The first time they had sex, Kuroo was insecure about it. Being almost 16 in a few days didn’t help him through it. His boyfriend did though and between erratic breaths and pained huffs, Kuroo finally muttered: “ _I love you.”_

After that Kuroo felt as if something bad was going to happen.

One week later time started to go on.

“It’s nothing you  _said,_ ” Okimura insisted but somehow Kuroo couldn’t find it in him to believe him.

“What’s it then?”

 “I … - I don’t know.”

Kuroo wondered if he was honest after all.

 “Everything was fine before,” Kuroo pushed.

 "It was,” Subaru agreed.

“Then -”

 “I don’t know okay? I don’t think we’re working out,” the older cut Tetsurou off.

 Kuroo nodded shortly, making a sound torn between amusement and anger.

 “Not working out?” he repeated, thinking of nights just spending with sweet kisses.  
Thinking of text messages that made his heart skip a beat, of laughing together as if all the drama the world had to over was nothing to them and had nothing on them. But yeah,  _not working out._ However, he had sensed something like this, which made it so much worse.

 “This is just too much,” Subaru muttered defeated, dragging his hands over his face.

 Kuroo looked over to him again.

“Listen,” Subaru tried again and inhaled deeply. “You’re great -”

 “Great,” Kuroo muttered dry.

 “You  _are -_ ”

 “But?”

“You might be better for someone else. You just entered high-school and I mean you will meet lots of new people - lot’s of better fitting other people for you and -”

 “Are you trying to shove me off to someone else?”

 “No of course not - I’m just saying,” Subaru struggled, “That’s what happens all the time. You get into new situations and … get to know people and … yeah.”

 Kuroo was smart - at this point he believed that he had figured him out.

“Are you worried I might find someone else?”

 He wasn’t smart enough apparently.

 “Not you … “ Okimura started carefully.

 Kuroo’s heart seemed to skip a beat for different reasons than at the start.

 “But I did.”

 

#

 

Everything that Kuroo could grasp was dusk and dawn - the world seemed to move on without him and he didn’t even mind. Even though time seemed to be crawling like a wounded animal. He minded that a lot.

 Tetsurou couldn’t stop but wondering about the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘would have been’s’. He wanted to know why too. Why did he end up falling in love with some girl? Why hadn’t he been enough? They could have been happy.

 

  _He could have been happy._

 

That thought struck him harder than anything so far. He would go back to what his life has been before. Which was miserable at best.  The thought alone was too. Suddenly an even heavier weight pushed him down. Was he really that horrible?

 “How long are you planning on laying there?”

 Kuroo groaned and turned his head away. Bokuto had been sitting across the room for almost an hour now, just watching him in silence. The only thing that occasionally broke the silence was Kuroo’s sighing and Bokuto’s foot tipping on the ground.

 “Go,” Kuroo wasn’t feeling like talking.

Koutarou sighed and his gaze went through the room for a moment. Since Kuroo had moved to his aunt his room size decreased.

 Koutarou had countless of things in his head that he could say, but having Kuroo at a point like this was new. He wasn’t really sure how to approach his friend. He sighed again.

 Kuroo listened faintly to Bokuto tapping his foot on the ground. Why could he not just sit still? It started to annoy Kuroo.

 “Jesus,” Tetsurou opened his eyes, shifted and finally sat up. Koutarou stopped moving for a moment.

 “I get it,” Kotarou said and stood up from the chair. “It sucks and you want Kenma to toss you into the next lava pit … but Mount Fuji isn’t doing that stuff anymore,” he said and his voice was weirdly calm. Kuroo would have worried if he wouldn’t actually agree with the lava part.

 “So that sucks even more,” Koutarou mumbled and sat down next to his best friend, looking over to him.

 “You know you can talk to me, right?”

 Kuroo averted his gaze. It was almost impossible to not break down in front of Bokuto, whose eyes alone seemed to be able to pick humans apart. Bokuto’s understandment of people was both, his best and worst trait - hiding things from him was wasted effort.

 Especially when you had known each other for years.

 “Yeah’m’fine,” Tetsurou muttered.

 “Liar.”

  _Obviously_ , Kuroo thought.

 “Also: That was a lousy attempt,” Bokuto smiled and nudged him softly. Kuroo huffed and forced a smile.

 “Ouch,” Koutarou commented.

Kuroo sighed. Having Bokuto around didn’t make anything better, but he didn’t feel worse either. So maybe that was at least something. Tetsurou had never been someone who over-shared. He also liked listening to Bokuto ramble much more than actually engaging in it himself.

 So sharing would have been hard for him if he would have wanted to do that.

 Kuroo sighed and shifted again, going through his hair with one of his hands.

 “Nevermind,” he said.

 “Nevermind?” Bokuto raised an eyebrow.

 “Let’s forget about that. No use in dwelling on it,” he said and both of them knew it was a lie.

A lie Kuroo needed now. He wasn’t sure if Bokuto understood but did also not give it a second thought since Bokuto didn’t push him.

 He stayed the night and they watched movies on Kuroo’s bed until both of them passed out.

 

 #

 

Two weeks had passed, they still hadn’t talked and Bokuto started to feel restless. It wasn’t like he wanted to push Kuroo to talk to him, but he was worried. And they were best friends, so Koutarou felt the need to do something. Anything really.

 “I’m always here, you know?” he said once as they walked home. Kuroo was going to stay over at his place.

 “Always is a long time,” he answered. “Always means forever.”

 There was no pushing in his words, no blaming. Just simply putting facts together and Koutarou wasn’t quite sure what of it broke his heart, but he stayed quiet for the rest of the way.

 “You still sure, you don’t want to talk?” Bokuto muttered as he opened the front door and lead Kuroo inside.

 Kuroo groaned.  “Yeah, okay, okay,” Bokuto quickly said and tried to shrug this topic off. He just wanted to help.

 The first door on the left after the front door was Bokuto’s. Kuroo already entered his room and threw his backpack aside before he sat down the bed.  Bokuto hurried past his room to enter the kitchen at the end of the corridor.

 “We’re here and uh - with ‘we’ I mean me and Kuroo. He’s staying over,” Bokuto quickly informed his father who looked up from the salad he was preparing. His expression was blank at first, before he let out a dragged sigh.

 “Okay,” he said and grabbed another handful of salad. He threw it into the bowl and looked back to his son. “I’ll tell you when dinner is ready. “

Bokuto nodded firmly and hoped there would be something meaty alongside the rabbit’s dish.

 Just as he was about to leave for his room, another male voice called out to him.

 “Koutarou?” his stepfather sneaked around the corner in the kitchen and smiled brightly. “Your friend is staying over?”

 Koutarou nodded.

“Well if you want to, you can show him the new piece we got. You know the one from the art gallery in Tokyo? It was -”

“On sale, I  _knooooow_ ,” Bokuto fought the urge to roll his eyes,“I’m not sure if he wants to look at paintings now.”

 “He seemed to like it last time,” Hideo said. Bokuto was sure they had different memories from the last time they forced Kuroo to comment on bought paintings.

“And you could have a good look on it again too, you didn’t really seem to catch what it means.”

 “ _Daaaad!_ ” Koutarou groaned for help.

His father gave him a weak smile. “Some culture is good for you, Koutarou.”

 Koutarou groaned again, this time louder.

 “Always impress the man,” his stepfather said proudly - this time he was only out to mock the teen tho.

 “Ehhhhhhhhh,” another groan, “I’m going to my uncultured friend now,” he said before he quickly left through the door and pulled it shut.

The adults gave each other a look before they continued doing their chores, Bokuto was already heading back to his room. On his way he was met with five different kind of paintings on the walls. He thought about burning them more than once, only for the sake of not being forced to talk about them again.

 As he entered his room, Kuroo was still waiting on the bed and looked at a chat on his mobile phone. “Kenma?” Bokuto asked since Kuroo seemed awful lot in thought.

 “Yeah,” he said and put the phone aside before he gazed to Bokuto.  “You told your parents I stay over?”

 Bokuto nodded. “They told me to impress you.”

 “They did?” Kuroo cracked a smile. Koutarou chuckled. “Yeah, did it work?”

 “Did what work? You didn’t do anything.”

 “I guessed with whom you’re chatting.”

 Kuroo snorted. “Right, right. It’s not like it’s super obvious, because I’m only either chatting with you or Kenma or something.”

 “Exactly!” Bokuto exclaimed sounding almost proud before he settled down on the bed as well.

 “They also want you to look at their new painting and probably give out a few smart comments to it,” Koutarou grinned.

And for the first time in weeks Koutarou was able to see another expression than indifference of agony  on Kuroo’s face. Was it disgust? Annoyance? Desperation? Maybe an unhealthy mix of them all. Or maybe agony again after all?

 “Noooo,” he whined. Bokuto started to laughed. “Last time I already needed to pull some words out of my ass - do you know how hard it is to say something smart to something that looks like a three year old on crack was given a brush?”

 Bokuto laughed only louder and clapped Tetsurou on his shoulder. “Dude!” he exclaimed, “I’m  _living_  with them!”

 Kuroo formed a pistol with his right hand and held it against his temple. “Take me with you,” Bokuto said and leaned closer to Kuroo.

 As the black haired made a sound that was supposed to sound like a gunshot both of them fell to the side.

 They laid on Koutarou’s bed for a minute, playing dead before Bokuto started to chuckle. Kuroo joined him and it was the best sound Bokuto heard in the last weeks. He burst out in laughter.

 “You sound like an hyena!” he exclaimed almost crying.

“Shut up -” he cracked up helplessly and scooped closer to Koutarou.

 “But it’s so true,” Bokuto closed his eyes and felt the weight of Kuroo’s head on his chest, that didn’t stop him from laughing but Koutarou’s hand went through Kuroo’s messy hair. Kuroo chuckled lightly.

 “Better,” Koutarou hummed and closed his eyes. “When you chuckle you sound like a happy hyena.”

 Kuroo huffed. “Shut up.”

Bokuto chuckled and felt as if a weight had been taken off of his shoulders.

 They stayed like this for a minute before they parted.

 Until dinner was ready they played a few video games, Kuroo beat Bokuto in most of them, thanks to Kenma. Bokuto wanted a revenge more than once and everytime he actually beat Kuroo he exclaimed it out loud with a cheerful:”Hey, hey hey!”

Then he’d slap Kuroo on the shoulder.

 Dinner went by and Bokuto’s parents happily drowned the boys in art-talk. As they didn’t look Kuroo did the gun motion while Bokuto motioned to slit his own throat open.

Kuroo chuckled and Bokuto beamed up.

 Another few hours passed, Bokut continued playing a game on PS3 while Kuroo had settled down on the others bed, watching him play. He also gazed at some chat on his mobile phone. Bokuto had watched him do that for a while now.

 “Kenma?” he asked and held down R2 to walk unsuspiciously.

 “Mh-mh.”

 Usually Kuroo wouldn’t stare at Kenma’s chat that long, either he’d text back or leave it at it. Maybe he didn’t know how to answer or maybe -

“Did you two have a fight?”

 Kuroo shifted and looked back over to his best friend, raising an eyebrow. “Where did you get that idea from?”

 Bokuto shrugged. “You keep staring at the chat without answering, did he send something awful?”

 “Huh,” Kuroo made. He didn’t expect Bokuto to pick up on something like that.

“No it’s not -” Kuroo didn’t finish and shifted on the bed. Bokuto’s eyes were still on the TV.

 “ - something bad?” Koutarou attempted to finish.

“ - Kenma,” Kuroo corrected.

 “ _Oh?”_ he made. “Who’s it then?”   
Now Bokuto actually hit the pause button and turned to Kuroo who was snuggled in his bed and fumbled around with his phone. He hesitated before he held his phone towards Bokuto. “Type 1218,” he said.

 Bokuto nodded and slowly took Kuroo’s phone before he unlocked it. The chat was still open. The contact read ‘Suba’. Koutarou hesitated and looked back up to Tetsurou who half-heartedly met his gaze. “It’s okay, go ahead.”

 Bokuto hesistantly read through the chat messages.

 

>> Suba [ 24.xx.xxxx 3:25 pm ]

See you later !

 

Tetsu [ x5.xx.xxxx 7:06 am ] << 

we should talk again

 

Tetsu [ x5.xx.xxxx 4:18 pm ] <<

?

 

Tetsu [ x6.xx.xxxx 2:46 am ] <<

you gotta at least tell my why her

 

Tetsu [ x6.xx.xxxx 10:11 am ] <<

sorry

 

Tetsu [ x6.xx.xxxx 5:16 pm ] <<

i just wish i’d now the real reason you know

 

Tetsu [ x7.xx.xxxx 4:29 pm ] <<

you’re ignoring me

 

 

 

The last message had been seen two hours ago. Bokuto frowned slightly. “Bro,” he mumbled and looked up. Kuroo didn’t meet his gaze and turned his head so that he could hide his face in the pillow. Then he sighed.

 Bokuto watched him for a moment before he turned back at the phone. Suddenly the ‘online’ status changed into ‘is typing …’.

 “Ah fuck,” he held his breath.

 “Hnn?” Kuroo made a sound into the pillows.

 “Nah,” Bokuto panicked. Was he supposed to give the phone back to Kuroo? - Yes. But, he was so miserable already.

 “Uhhhh …”

“Yeah?”

“Mhhh … you know … let’s say someone would text you back … would you want to know?”

“He’s texting back??”

 And with that Kuroo was up with one leap. He knelt down next to Bokuto and basically ripped the phone out of his hands to look at the chat. Suba was still typing and Kuroo stared at the chat as if his life would depend on the answer. It did in some way.

 Bokuto leaned over to get a better look at the chat too, Kuroo didn’t mind.

Then the message arrived.

 

 

>> Suba [ x7.xx.xxxx 6:58 pm ]

stop texting me


End file.
